Broken
by Avid fangirl for life
Summary: Emma and Regina have been together ten years and they lose their first baby and Regina finds herself unable to be there for her, at first. No Henry.


Regina stood and watched as her world fell apart. She didn't try to stop her from leaving, she didn't even call her name as the front door slammed with the sound of finality. She just stood and watched as her entire world stormed out of the front door after ten years of building something that she had thought to be unbreakable. She watched as she blinked and it vanished in the blink of an eye leaving barely a trace of its existence behind.

All that remained behind being the pictures- full of happiness- on the walls and the broken shards of glass on the carpeted floor of the foyer of her, their home. She listens as the bug splutters to life in the drive, the engine groaning in protest as Emma backs the car out onto the quiet road. She can hear Emma's fist slamming against the steering wheel, the furious curses muttered under her breath. Whether she can actually hear them or not is a matter of opinion, she's not entirely sure whether it's all in her head, because she just knows exactly what Emma will be doing in this moment, or whether she actually heard it but it's not like it really matters.

All that matters is that her Emma is gone, Regina had pushed it too far this time. She's been working later, purposely avoiding Emma. She had abandoned Emma when she had needed her the most, of course she had been hurting too but her wife had needed her. And she had abandoned her. She had left Emma to her guilt and sanded and grief. She had left Emma to cope with the crushing weight of losing their baby, a baby boy she was carrying, who they were going to name Henry, on her own because she hadn't been strong enough for the both of them. She had broken all of her promises to Emma, she had left her when she was needed most, because she didn't know how to fix them when they were both so broken and now Emma had left her in turn.

She can only hope that Emma is better, and stronger than she is and that she still wants to fix what is left between them. She wants, no she needs Emma to come home because without her she has nothing left. In this huge, empty, lonely house that echoes around her, Emma had managed to bring her back to life. When Emma had found her all those years ago she had been her rock and her saving grace. Emma had been the only thread between Regina and the insanity that beckoned her after her attack. And now because she hadn't been able to do the same for Emma, because her own demons were too strong amongst the confusing haze of grief, she was going to lose the love of her life, and she has no body to blame but herself.

It is not long after Emma has driven out of hearing range that Regina finds herself in a heap on the floor amongst the glass shards that tear the palms of her hands to shreds, tears streaming down her face even as her blank and glassy gaze remains focused on the polished front door that stubbornly refuses to open.

Hours later sees Regina still in the same position, barely having moved an inch even after the sun had set. The door still remains stubbornly closed and the driveway stubbornly silent. Her palms sting with the glass of shards buried in them, but Regina a barely bats an eyelid. She knows that she should really move, it isn't healthy or lady like to obsess in such a way, what would her mother say if she could see her now. Regina finds that she's past caring, all she wants is for Emma to come back to her.

When a car finally does pull in to the drive way, Regina is so consumed with her need for Emma to return that she doesn't notice the loud and somewhat obnoxious noise, she doesn't even notice the front door she is so fixated on opening and allowing entrance to the one person she wishes so desperately to see. Her blank stare remains fixed on the door, as though if he stares hard enough for long enough it will offer a magical solution to her problems. Not that she wants one, all she wants is Emma no matter how problematic that proves to be.

It isn't until Emma is crouched in front of her, hand clasping her shoulder, shaking her gently that Regina comes back to the present. The broken smile she can feel painted across her face is mirrored on the face of her soul mate. Emma's lip is wobbling dangerously and Regina just knows that she has about thirty seconds before Emma breaks completely.

Ignoring the shards of glass buried deep in her palms, and ignoring the rivulets of crimson liquid that form in her hands, she reaches a hand up to cup Emma's face. With a clumsy caress to her loves cheek, she wipes at the tear tracks she finds there as though she is trying to wipe away Emma's pain in one movement. She wishes she could do that for both of them, their lives should be filled with so much joy at the moment, and yet it couldn't be further from that.

She gathers Emma up in her arms, cradling her close to her chest, offering whatever comfort she can as Emma breaks in her embrace. The sobs seem to go on for an eternity, but eventually they quieten and then the silence is broken only by a hiccup from Emma as she clings koala like to Regina's form.

As Emma nestles into her chest, Regina nuzzles into her loves hair, trying to offer what silent comfort she can. She knows that Emma needs her to be here, she needs her in this moment. She needs her here so that she can break in the arms of the woman she loves before she can be helped in piecing herself back together. Placing a tender kiss to the top of Emma's head Regina rocks them back and forth amongst the shards of broken glass, whispering "I'm sorry" over and over, hoping that they are strong enough united to weather the most awful storm that has ever been thrown at them.


End file.
